thePEBBLE - 07/12/06 - Backstabbers Lose
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The Saga Of Pinehill, The Adventure
This is a page turner you don't want to put down.
Get your copy today! It will change your life. Go to
http://www.the-pebble.com OR order yours from
your favorite bookstore. ISBN # 1-4137-4723-X
Watch for the sequel
Money, Marriage And The Way, The Saga Of Pinehill Book II
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TODAY'S TRIVIA - - -
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How many bones are in the feet?
How many steps does the average person take each day?
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ANSWERS TO YESTERDAY'S TRIVIA - - - -
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Who invented the ice cream soda?
Robert Green, the operator of a soda water concession in
Philadelphia, is generally credited with inventing the ice
cream soda. He sold a mixture of carbonated water, syrup,
and cream, but ran OUT of cream one day and substituted ice
cream instead. His customers loved it and his sales rose
dramatically.
Is it true that wearing sandals regularly can lengthen your
feet?
Yes. Your feet aren't growing, exactly. What's happening is
that the force of each step gradually collapses your arches
and makes your feet longer. You could actually have to buy a
bigger shoe size!
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I'LL SEE IT WHEN I BELIEVE IT!
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There are a lot of ways to become a failure,
but never taking a chance is the most successful.
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thePEBBLE CONTENTS:
1. STRANGE BITS AND PIECES!
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2 OPTIMIZE LIFE NOW™ ... with Dr. Rhoberta Shaler
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Backstabbers Lose
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3. MEDICAL COLUMN by Karin Henderson
Detoxification
A Natural Body Function: Does It Really
Need To Be Helped Along?
PART 8 of 11
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4. PERCEPTIONS by Ken Darby
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5. WHY DO WE SAY IT?
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6. THINK ABOUT THIS TODAY!
7. HA! HA!HA!
8. CONTACT INFO
9. THE LAST LINE - - - - -
Get The Saga Of Pinehill, The Adventure
http://the-pebble.com/SAGA/sagamain.html
OR get it at your favorite bookstore. Ask for
ISBN# 1-4137-4723-X from Publish America
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STRANGE BITS AND PIECES!
Approximately 10.5 gallons of water is used in a dishwasher.
Washing the dishes by hand uses about 20 gallons of water.
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OPTIMIZE LIFE NOW™ . . . with Dr. Rhoberta Shaler
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Backstabbers Lose
Whatever are people thinking when they are two-faced? Are
they really thinking that people are stupid and can't see
the forest for the trees?
When meetings take place surreptitiously, behind closed
doors and blinds, suspicion builds. I was working with a
finance department for a major agency. The director was
well-known...and feared...for her supposed 'open door'
policy. Loudly she proclaimed that anyone at any time was
welcome to come and speak with her in her office. She
declared that she wanted open communication and everyone
feeling able to talk with her. Sounds great. So, what was
the problem?
When a brave person would muster up his or her courage and
take her at her word, it was likely that, in moments, the
yelling voice of the director could be heard throughout the
department, complete with language suitable for a gutter!
Oh, but that was not all. Seconds later, the door of her
office would slam shut and the blinds would snap. The
hopeful employee trapped inside. And, the abuse would
continue.
When I was brought in to act as consultant, trainer and
coach, my task was to create a functioning team from these
nine people. One screamer, three middle managers living on
tenterhooks and five subordinates afraid to speak or step
sideways. Whew! You can believe that there were many days
that those folks seriously considered sick leave!
People enjoy power. Some people abuse power. And, they do it
from fear. No one needs to abuse power when they feel
secure, when they know they are competent and capable, when
they have nothing to prove.
Some people feel they have to stomp on and mess with folks
in order to get a promotion. In some dysfunctional
businesses, this is true. I was recently working with an
executive coaching client who had a boss who wanted harmony
at any price. He was petrified of managing conflict in his
office. My client was bringing in great clients, with their
money, but her subordinate did not like her. The boss, in
his wisdom, decided to release my client rather than deal
with the underhanded and in-her-face behavior of the
subordinate. All in the name of peace. Strange things happen
in the corporate world sometimes.
Of course, the opposite could also happen. The person who
brings in the most money could be allowed to trample over
the subordinates because the bottom line is more important
than respect.
A reader wrote to me about a director who plays power games.
This woman calls meetings at inconvenient times and invites
her favorites along. This requires folks to shift
priorities, upset family plans and give up weekends just to
satisfy this woman's whims. But she takes the abuse of power
to a whole new level. Once everyone has changed their plans
to accommodate her, she changes her mind, changes the
meeting time, and the shifting begins again. What an
incredibly insecure woman!
Backstabbing, gossiping, greed and power games are a sign of
an unhealthy organization. Worse, though, those who engage
in these things are wasting vital energy and making
themselves miserable. You might think that eliminating these
things will eliminate you from the promotion ranks. You
might think that I “don't understand how the game is
played”. Believe me, I do. My question to you is "Are you
willing to give up your integrity and peace of mind on a
daily basis in order to play into someone else's misguided
power games?" What is the real prize?
Yes, I know, you need the pay check. We all do need to be
able to earn our keep. How about this, though? How about
you behave in integrity with your values and refuse to play?
Wouldn't that feel better? Would you enjoy each day more?
And, eventually, folks will get the message.
Here are a few tips for you:
BE THE APPRECIATOR
Mention the things you appreciate. Comment on the things you
like. Discuss what you prefer.
William James, the father of psychology, said, "The deepest
craving of the human nature is the need to be appreciated."
Appreciation is cost-free. Move the things you like forward
by talking about them. It takes almost no effort to find
something you appreciate about each person you know. Just
give voice to it. Guess what? You'll be appreciated.
NEVER SAY ANYTHING YOU DON'T WANT TO BE TRUE
Wow! This one can change the face of the planet, let alone
the culture of your workplace. Speak only about what you
want to see happen, what would improve things. Focus on the
positive and give voice to it.
No, this is not Pollyanna thinking. That's why I wrote the
book, 'What You Pay Attention to Expands'--because it is
true. How much energy do you lose when you engage in the
'poor me' and 'ain't it awful' conversations? You're doing
it to yourself.
I'll bet you would not list gossip, backstabbing or
negativity as one of the desirable values you hold dear.
But, are you behaving as though that were true? Remember,
your behavior is your belief and there is no way around that
one!
BE PRO-ACTIVE
First rule of change: Be the change you want to see in the
world. That's what Gandhi said and I believe it is
paramount. How many people expect behaviors from others that
they are not demonstrating themselves?
Talk about what you want to create. Keep the buzz going
about what is possible. Influence the culture of your
workplace with your presence. Be strong. Be the voice for
fair play and reason.
Would that person who calls those meetings that
inconvenience everyone be happy if it happened to her? No,
she would be the first to complain. Would the person who
runs to you with the latest gossip be thrilled to be the
topic of conversation tomorrow morning? No, he would be
outraged and declare it unfair. Would the backstabber cry
when stabbed? Louder than anyone.
Stop this nonsense. Just stop it. Refuse to play. It will
soon end the game and, if not the whole game, it will end
the game around you.
I'm not talking about being a wuss, a doormat or a snob.
This is about being in integrity with what you value, with
being the person you most want to be. Use your energy, time
and resources in ways that make you feel good every day.
After all, it is your quality of life you're creating!
There are risks. You may be happier. People may gravitate
towards you and want to play on your team. You may become a
leader and have the opportunity to demonstrate a better way
of doing things.
Of course, there are other risks. You may be seen as
different and no fun at all. Some folks don't like people to
rain on their pity parties! Or, you may catch the eye of the
offender in power. Guess what? You'll be the one who is
promulgating positivity. You'll be the one showing that
there is another, a better way, to make it through the work
day. And, they just may want you on their team. Why? Because
you are easy to be around.
OK, now, do the math. You're easy to be around while sharing
what's possible for the team, department or company. That
has to be attractive. Hang in. Backstabbers lose every day.
Not only will you be winning every day personally, you very
well may win the day. Be a shift shaper!
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD All rights reserved.
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International speaker, facilitator, coach & author Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,
is an expert motivator helping businesses prosper & people
flourish. Visit her website for ezines, teleseminars, books
& CDs, free articles, online community, and more.
www.OptimizeLifeNow.com
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To do in anger what you would not do otherwise, is folly.
To do otherwise what you would not do with love for your
fellow man, is folly. To do all things with a constant
awareness of love toward your fellow man is of your Maker.
---- Ken Darby
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MEDICAL COLUMN - - - -
by Karin Henderson
Detoxification
A Natural Body Function: Does It Really
Need To Be Helped Along?
PART 8 of 11
The decision to detox your body needs much more research and
contemplation. You need some options and of course all this
depends on your present situation and past experiences. It’s
pretty obvious if you have a major drug problem, including
alcohol and tobacco, you would need to stop them as well as
trying to get the effects out of your body. And any step, no
matter how small, is a good step to take. What is not so
obvious is what other things could be contributing to the
inner pollution that now needs to be detoxified or cleaned
out to be rendered harmless.
So what other possible elements should we be suspecting?
Foods, drugs, and environments are the quickest and easiest
to discover. But I urge you not to jump to quick
conclusions. It’s fine to do the research and find you think
you have the answer, but you may need the drug or the food
in order to cope. Again, you need to make wise decisions,
armed with trustworthy knowledge, and in consultation with a
qualified medical practioner.
I wanted to repeat Mosby’s definition of toxicity again: “a
condition that results from exposure to a toxin or to a
toxic amount of a substance that does not cause adverse
effects in smaller amounts.” What this means is that
sometimes a drug or herbal remedy in small portions isn’t a
problem, but if you choose to take more, it can be. More is
often not better. I also find that drugs are used in
different strengths for different conditions. And sometimes
the increase for one intention is too much. Again, I urge
you to read all and any herbal, prescription and over the
counter information very carefully. This is the day and era
of people not being afraid to challenge information or
suggestions. Be proactive for the sake of your health. If
your body doesn’t like it, it will do its best to detox
itself and often the effects of this process are very
misunderstood. Then the treatment for a runny nose or a sore
throat or a muscle pain, is treated to stop this reaction.
Could this action be detrimental to your health? The
“default” state of your body is health: not drugs or
chemicals. (I could fill a book with what I hear people are
on to treat side effects!) So in the end if you are on
chemicals and they are not part of your body’s natural
makeup, you have chosen to provide a different set of
elements to feed it.
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Karin Henderson is a registered nurse and is thePEBBLE's
columnist for our MEDICAL COLUMN.
We appreciate her input very much. Thanks Karin.
You can send Karin questions at
mailto:kflh@shaw.ca
Health Information Newsletter.
http://www.prescotts-inc.com
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PERCEPTIONS . . . by Ken Darby
-----------------------DISCLAIMER
Some around me think I am an opinionated old goat.
Whether that be true or not I will sometimes, in this column,
talk about things people don't like to talk about - or don't want
out in the open. Take it all with a grain of salt.
Do your own thinking, and don't accept the things I say as
gospel. They are only mental meanderings from a simple soul.
-----------------------END DISCLAIMER
There are times when I think all our leaders should give
their heads a shake. Years ago we thought it was a good idea
to give nuclear plants to India and Pakistan so they could
develop electrical power. Now each has nuclear weapons.
If you can believe it the G8 nations are now planning on
selling nuclear power plants to as many third world
countries as they possibly can, including some of the
controversial plutonium growing plants. All this, of course,
will be with all the proper precautions - ha ha - so none
of the new customers will produce nuclear weapons.
For the sake of money these G8 nations are willing to
sacrifice the peace of the world. This very act is an act of
war against mankind. There is no possible way these
developing nations will refrain from producing bombs. The
majority of these nations are already countries with
fundamentalist extremists and known terrorist camps.
The level of intelligence the G8 leaders have is shocking.
History has clearly shown they can do nothing to control
those who want weapons of mass destruction and now they are
literally going out and giving these people the means
whereby they can produce such weapons.
Is it any wonder why I say man's activities do not bode well
for our future? Such stupidity will come back to haunt our
children and grandchildren BIG TIME, just as our own
activities have come back to haunt us within our lifetime.
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WHY DO WE SAY IT?
On the Carpet: How did "on the carpet" come to mean a
reprimand?
Originally, only the boss's office had a "carpet"; the other
offices didn't. So, to be called "on the carpet" was to be
called into the boss's office - and this usually meant a
reprimand.
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THINK ABOUT THIS TODAY!
Nothing is difficult if you're used to it.
-- Indonesian Proverb
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HA! HA! HA!
MARITAL WITS
"Did your wife have much to say when you got home last
night?"
"No, but that didn't keep her from talking for two hours."
--- --- ---
"Are you saying that your wife is outspoken?"
"Not by anyone I know of."
--- --- ---
Being a husband is like any other job. It helps a lot if
you like
the boss.
--- --- ---
Views expressed by husbands are not necessarily those of the
management.
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THE LAST LINE - - - - -
Habits are like supervisors that you don't notice.
-- Hannes Messemer
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REMEMBER! - IF YOU SEE IT IN thePEBBLE - IT IS SO!
Behind the veil of simplicity lies the rewards you seek.
Stay calm, be still. Go inside to seek what you are after.
There you will find your reward.
---- Ken Darby
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