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THE PEBBLE - 03/10/04 - IS A NUDGE MORE EFFECTIVE THAN A SHOVE?
YOUR DAILY CHUCKLE and MOTIVATION - ENJOY!
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Welcome to THE PEBBLE for March 10, 2004
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TODAY'S TRIVIA - - -
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Who cut the American flag into pieces and was
actually honored for it?
Is it ever appropriate to fly the US flag upside down?
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ANSWERS TO YESTERDAY'S TRIVIA - - - -
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Why does salting foods help preserve them?
One of the earliest methods of preserving food - salting
meats - works to prevent microbial contamination by
controlling water. Microorganisms need water to grow
and the salt competes for that water, allowing the meat
to remain unspoiled longer.
How come early American flags don't always look the same?
Until June 24, 1912, no rules were established about
the order of the stars on the flag, nor about its proportions.
Flags made before that year sometimes show unusual
arrangements of the stars or strange proportions. It was
entirely up to the flag maker.
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CONTENTS:
1. STRANGE BITS AND PIECES!
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2. OPTIMIZE LIFE NOW!™
with Dr. Rhoberta Shaler
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IS A NUDGE MORE EFFECTIVE THAN A SHOVE?
byRhoberta Shaler
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3. COMPUTER TIPS by Patsy Norlie
Make Your Own Website
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4. MEDICAL COLUMN by Karin Henderson
Thoughtful Gifts Of Love For Anyone
With Physical Disabilities
PART 8 of 10
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5. THE SAGA OF PINEHILL by Ken Darby
Ben applies the lessons.
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6. OBSERVATIONS OF OUR BUSINESS
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7. THINK ABOUT THIS TODAY!
8. HA! HA!HA!
9. CONTACT INFO
10. THE LAST LINE - - - - -
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LOOK FOR TOMORROWS EVENTS - - -
Pinehill - They return home.
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STRANGE BITS AND PIECES!
by Gauher Chaudhry
http://www.amusingfacts.com
Denver has more than 300 days of sunshine a year.
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OPTIMIZE LIFE NOW!™
with Dr. Rhoberta Shaler
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IS A NUDGE MORE EFFECTIVE THAN A SHOVE?
byRhoberta Shaler
Adam was part of a two-person team responsible for
negotiating company-wide salary increases. Trina sat
next to him, completing the team. The CEO and CFO
represented management and there was one voice
from the venture capitalists.
Adam sat at the table after two seemingly very long
hours, jacket off, ready to pounce. He was tired,
worn-down and fed-up. Health benefits were the final
issue. It had been left to the end because of the huge
difference of opinion as to whose responsibility it
really is. The conversation heated up. Adam, hot
under the collar, had had enough. He leaned forward
to speak, rising to the bait, exasperation oozing from
every pore. Trina, observing the sparks, was
determined to keep the fire under control. She
nudged Adam, saying,
“We’re doing well. Let’s sit back and listen a little
longer.” Adam relaxed. Management spoke. Their
offer was close to reasonable. Two quick volleys
and the deal was done. A nudge saved the day…
and the health care of one hundred families! It was
a nudge in the right direction.
PRACTICE THE GENTLE ART OF NUDGING
Are you more motivated by a nudge or a shove?
Probably we’ve all been motivated by both. One is
easier to hear and accept. By definition, to nudge
someone is “to seek the attention of; to prod lightly;
to urge into action”. That sounds gentle…and positive.
You’ve heard that you’ll catch more flies with honey
than with vinegar. It’s true.
We are generally under-appreciated and
over-criticized. When we’re offered honey, we’re
hungry for it and it is much more palatable than
vinegar. Who enjoys someone’s acid tongue raining
down criticism? I’ll take dripping praise, recognition
and acknowledgment over that any day, won’t you?
Unfortunately, manure also seems to be a fly magnet
so that may be where the metaphor runs out. It does
remind us, though, to be sure that our appreciation
and intentions are genuine because any other kind
smells!
Nudging is catching people doing things right! Use
your time and energy for moving the positive forward.
I used to have a piano teacher who told me to “Keep
making beautiful music and let the bad notes fall on
the floor.” Of course, each time I played the piece I
was careful to have fewer bad notes because she
reminded me to focus on the music not the mistakes.
Catch people doing things right. You’ll feel better
with your focus on the positive. They’ll respond and
give you more of what you want.
No, I’m not suggesting denial. Things do need
improving and they need to be talked about. If,
however, your focus is on encouraging rather than
discouraging, you’ll see a significant increase in the
behaviors you prefer. William James, the father of
modern psychology, said,
“The deepest craving of the human nature is the need
to feel appreciated.” So, get out the honey and catch
them flies! Nudge them in the right direction and
things will go faster.
PRACTICE THE JUDICIOUS USE OF
THOUGHTFUL SHOVING
The problem with shoving in general is that it is too
careless, too thoughtless and too often a knee-jerk
reaction. It can be a street-fighter strategy that
leaves your victim bleeding and stunned. Although
usually not a felony, it should be! So, no street-fighting!
And, we do need to know what to do when a nudge is
insufficient and a death blow is too severe.
I was shoved once…and hard. I was twelve years
old and I was called to the principal’s office. Being a
top student, president of this and that, an accomplished
musician and an all around asset to the school, I was
certain that, as it was Awards Day, the principal,
Mr. Martin, simply wanted to tell me personally how
much he appreciated my efforts.
Imagine my surprise when he said,
“Well, young lady, you are at the top of your game
around here in so many ways and you’ll receive the
awards to prove it. We have to give them to you but we
don’t want to. You think too much of yourself and it
shows. So, take my advice, fix the attitude. You’re
destined for success, but you’ll be sidetracked by your
attitude.”
I felt like I had been shoved against the wall by a Mack
truck! Was it effective? Was it the truth? YES, on both
counts. Thinking back, several teachers had tried to
nudge me towards that truth, but I was not listening. It
took the big shove to wake me up.
Mr. Martin was a kind man with my best interests at
heart. There was no doubt. It took something out of
him to exert the force required to turn my head in the
right direction. He knew when to shove…and how.
Don’t shove unless you have excellent communication
skills and a clearly thought-out strategy.
Shoving from anger creates injury. Unless you are
willing to terminate the relationship, you need honest,
kind communication and the skills to manage
conflict if you want a healthy result from a ‘shove’. Be
sure you learn these things before you push your
weight around. Without them, you will be a bully or
a bull in a china shop!
Know when to nudge, know when to shove, but, first,
know when to appreciate.
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People skills expert, speaker & executive coach,
Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, makes it easier to talk about
difficult things. Author of over a dozen insightful books &
audio programs, she works with executives,
entrepreneurs & employees who want to
master the 'people skills' that grease the wheels
of business & life—communication, negotiation,
conflict & anger management, networking. Free
coaching consultation. Visit
www.OptimizeInstitute.com
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COMPUTER TIPS - - -
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Emotions are to give you power. They are the drive,
the impetus, the propulsion. They are to be directed by
you to the results you want. They are not to lead you.
---- Ken Darby
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MEDICAL COLUMN - - - -
Thoughtful Gifts Of Love For Anyone
With Physical Disabilities
PART 8 of 10
Still driving? Treat them to a wide-angle
rear-view mirror that span the full width of your
car provide a panoramic view of the traffic behind
you and cut down on the need to look over your
shoulder: a welcome relief for drivers with still
necks and shoulders. Bathrooms are a real hazard,
but we can't live without them. Water spells
slipping. Hot water can cause burns. The chemicals
to clean them are a possible source of irritation.
The mechanics of getting in and out of a tub are a
challenge. But I found a wonderful tub for someone
who can afford the cost. It's a home version of an
institutional style tub that opens and closes
hydraulically! You simply sit down on the "bench"
and press a button. Then the bench turns to close
the tub side, locks it into place and the water
fills at a prescribed temperature, to a pre-set
level! Can you imagine the bliss for someone with
aching limbs and always cold! Make sure safety
grab-bars are installed in the shower stall or
bathtub, and next to the toilet for greater
security. Don't hesitate to have this done by a
professional craftsman. Don't have anything other
than non-slip rubber mats in the tub and on the
bathroom floor. They can greatly reduce the risk
of an accidental fall.
Move as many of the trinkets as possible out to
another "viewing area". They need cleaning and
encourage fussing about the room.
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Karin Henderson is a registered nurse and is THE
PEBBLE®'s columnist for our MEDICAL COLUMN.
We appreciate her input very much. Thanks Karin.
You can send Karin questions at
mailto:kflh@prescotts-inc.com
Health Information Newsletter.
http://www.prescotts-inc.com
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THE NET'S BEST KEPT SECRET
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THE SAGA OF PINEHILL
by Ken Darby
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Eloise Henry, age 18 when the story began, and
David Wylie, age 20, were selected, by a
stranger in town, to take a dangerous trip, together.
The idea was that each was to take only the clothes
on their back, and go anywhere in the world where
the stranger took them. They were to be left there
to find their own way home. They had no money,
no identification, and no idea where they were.
Upon their safe return there was a million dollars
waiting in their bank account for them. If one did not
make it that money would go to the survivor. If neither
made it the money would go to their families.
The story deals with their adventures along the way
and leads into the only way they could survive. That was
for Eloise to learn higher law and commit her life to
that end. Along the way she learns how to perform
many a miracle.
The story leads to many friends, many adventures
and many places. As you read on, enjoy. It continues . . . . . . .
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Abetta and the girls served supper, and the conversation
just kept going. Sam brought them all up to date about
Alewka, Sue Miles and the Whites. Ben brought them
up to date on Helen, David and Pam Wiley, Mae, and
Eloise and Mazunta.
"Where is Romano?" asked Sam, knowing.
"He was called. There was a fire somewhere and
Romano was needed.
"We are very much looking forward to your wedding
Oomano. I guess that is coming up soon isn't it. Are
you nervous?" asked Sam.
"No, Mr. Sam. If I and Romano did not live by higher
law, I might be. But not now." answered Oomano.
"Riata, we stopped at the orphanage on our way here.
That is pretty impressive. You have done fine work
there." said Ben.
"It is helping the people, Mr. Ben. It is strengthening
their faith, although they do not yet see the truth. It is at
least a step in the right direction." answered Riata, "I
am happy some of the orphans are coming along. They
will serve mankind well."
"That they will. I met the cutest little girl, Helena. I think
she will come along nicely, too. The other two, Reno and
Amenti, they are helping with the teaching?" asked Ben.
"Yes, Mr. Ben. They are wonderful, those two. The
committed each within a day of each other. They have
been a big help." she responded.
The meal over, the kids cleaned up the table and began
to wash the dishes. There were others who prepared
themselves for bed. Ben was impressed how they all
just fit into the schedule, without complaint and without
fighting, squabbling or fooling around.
"I am certainly impressed with these kids here, you two.
They are very well behaved and seem to help
out." said Ben
"That is Oomano's doing. She has shown the kids the
law 'As ye sow, so shall ye reap.' The kids believe her
and, of course, reap the rewards of good behavior. They
have more freedom, earned freedom, than most kids.
They have been shown the guidelines and know where
they can go and where they cannot. They have been
well taught that every action they take produces a
reaction somewhere. So they choose before they act,
because they know what they want coming back to
them. They are well grounded in the law." said Riata.
"All the same, it is pretty impressive. Good job
Oomano." said Ben
"I did not do it for my sake, Mr. Ben. I am concerned the
children learn for their own sake. It is they who will go
out into the world. I want them to be ready for their
work." said Oomano.
"I know Oomano. I just wanted you to know I think you
have done well." said Ben.
"Mr. Ben, you and Mrs. Helen will be coming to our
wedding?" she asked again.
"Most certainly, Oomano. We would not miss this for
the world. We love you deeply and respect you as
deeply. We consider it a privilege you have asked us
to come and we will not miss it. The Whites feel the
same way, Oomano. They will be here,
too." answered Ben.
"Miguele, you raised two fine daughters. They have
already contributed much to this world." said Sam.
"Mr. Sam, that is very kind of you. You forget that none
of this would have happened had it not been for your own
daughter. She is the one who came and changed our
lives. She is a wonderful woman, Missy. And now she,
too, has a daughter. I will be very happy to see her
again." said Miguele.
"Time, in earth, passes quickly doesn't it? It seems like
only yesterday she was a wee girl I could hold in my
arms. Now look at all that has happened since then. My,
life is interesting." said Sam.
"Well Sam, I think we best be on our way." said Ben.
"I suppose. Thank you Abetta. That was a wonderful
supper. And thank you all for your hospitality. I enjoyed
the visit. I'll be back for that wedding, young lady." said
Sam.
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THE SAGA OF PINEHILL is a serial we run daily.
Be sure to read your PEBBLE® to catch up on
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TOMORROW - - - They return home.
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It is a way of seeing some of the good things and not so good
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THINK ABOUT THIS TODAY!
"Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest
of pleasures, costs nothing, and conveys much."
---- Erastus Wiman
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HA! HA! HA!
Your cat waits and meows at the front door when you
arrive. Is it saying?
a) Welcome home, I missed you.
b) The phone rang twice while you were out.
c) Feed me, *NOW*
d) So, I see you didn't bring me the mate I asked for?
Your pillow is history.
Your cat meows at the door when you go out. Is it saying?
a) Please don't leave me here all alone.
b) Have a nice day.
c) But what if I get hungry while you out?
d) Kiss that new vase goodbye.
Your cat digs its claws in your leg. This is?
a) An unsuppressed primal instinct.
b) A sign of affection.
c) A demand to be fed NOW.
d) Have YOU had YOUR shots?
e) An attempt to 'fix' you like you 'fixed' him.
Your cat scratches at the door after being fed. Is it
saying?
a) Lemme out - I need to fertilize the garden.
b) Wanna go out and play?
c) Wonder what they've got to eat next door?
d) Do I mark my territory outside, or inside?
When your cat stares at you, it means:
a) It is bored silly.
b) It's trying to understand how its food grows in cans.
c) You are being sized-up for an attack.
d) Human mating habits are disgusting.
Your cat brings a dead mouse/bird into the house. This
means:
a) A primal instinct is being displayed
b) You're not feeding me enough
c) It is showing a sign of affection by sharing
d) It is demonstrating the fact that it knows how to kill;
be warned
e) All of the above
Your cat displays signs it wants to mate with other cats
in the neighborhood. You should:
a) Let it out immediately.
b) Try to switch it's interests to other things.
c) Put on heavy protective clothing if you are not
planning to let it out.
d) If the other cat's owner is attractive, maybe you could double.
Your cat sleeps with you; covering your face. This means:
a) It is showing you great affection.
b) It knows you are allergic to cats.
c) It has discovered the fine art of suffocation.
d) You should have let it out tonight.
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THE LAST LINE - - - - -
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear
and the blind can see."
---- Mark Twain
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(This is the PROJECT 2003 program)
REMEMBER! - IF YOU SEE IT IN THE PEBBLE® - IT IS SO!
Honesty with oneself is imperative if one would enjoy good health.
---- Ken Darby
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